under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
