"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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