You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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