wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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