Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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