i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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