dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
