Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
