i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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