i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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