The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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