if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
