Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
