He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Be still, my beating vagina.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
