went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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