You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
