He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
