so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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