Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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