Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes

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(714): View more from California

they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.

(417): View more from Missouri

I'm going for alcohol poisoning.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I intend to get homeless drunk

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.

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