I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
