Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
