you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
