So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
