you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
