I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
