Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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