wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
