the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He did a backflip because drugs
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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