If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
