I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
