the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
