I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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