id be glad to
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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