It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
