I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
