Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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