if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
