upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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