Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
