Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
