I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
