The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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