You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
