wat bout pragnant strippers??
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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