the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize