Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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