i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
