new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize