Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
