I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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