super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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