Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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