Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Damn victory sex feels great
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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