White coat. Heels.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
