Bisexual people are plain selfish.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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