i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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