my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
