well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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