New low: just hacked my moms facebook
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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