Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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